Lost
by eddiecullen
Summary: When Edward leaves Bella can't function. Bella befriends Lauren and becomes a completely different person. Four years later, Alice and Rosalie happen to find her one night, and they can't believe their eyes. My first story so be nice please. R
1. Chapter 1

Summary: When Edward leaves Bella can't function. Lauren takes Bella under her wing and teaches Bella her ways of life. Bella has changed drastically over the last three years and when Edward happens to see her by chance one night he can't believe his eyes.

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Chapter 1

The rain fell harder than usual in a little town called Forks. Yet rain wasn't that unusual in this town, so everyone continued going about their business. Well, almost everyone. Bella Swan sat on her bed staring at the ceiling. Her father, the Chief of Police was worried for his daughter. She hardly ever left her room except to use the bathroom and to do her daily chores, and Chief Swan had only one person to blame for his daughters sudden change in behaviour: Edward Cullen.

He hated even thinking the name. The boy who stole his daughter's heart and then abandoned her in the middle of the forest ten months ago.

Bella had shown little to no improvement since he left. She cry's just as much now as she did before, and her nightmares are just as bad as they ever were. He could also see a major physical change in his daughter. She had lost an unhealthy amount of weight and her once bright lively eyes have lost their spark. Oddly enough, she even moved and positioned herself differently. Always holding herself, as if she was trying to keep herself from falling apart.

Chief Swan wondered how he and his daughter could have such a different opinion about one specific person. He knew his daughter still loved Edward with all her heart and would take him back without a second's hesitation. Yet the Chief loathed him with such a fiery passion that he didn't know how he could bear it if that boy ever returned.

Lately she looked worse than ever. Since school ended she's had nothing to occupy her thoughts. So the Chief had to endure looking at his daughter depressed and broken almost every day. She would try her best to do as much as she could normally yet the Chief could see right through her little charade. Some days he didn't even see her around the house. She would have food ready on the counter for when he got home, and would stay in her room for the rest of the night. He wondered if she even ate. However Chief Swan could do nothing to change his daughter's behaviour, he even tried threatening to send her back to her mother's but she barely even responded. So he could do nothing but watch as the depression took over her life.

Yes, Chief Swan knew his daughter would never be the same again. He knew she was depressed and knew she needed help.

What Chief Swan didn't know though, was just how bad the situation had gotten. He didn't know what she did all day while he was working. He didn't know that his daughter had made new friends, friends he definitely wouldn't approve of. And he certainly didn't know that his daughter wasn't at home most nights. Chief Swan was completely clueless as to just how much Edward Cullen leaving had drastically changed his daughter's life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I walked silently down the dark alley. On the other side, I could barely see the contour of three dark figures. They looked as though they were arguing.

"She'll be here soon," An anxious female voice said quietly. "Let's just wait another ten minutes, and if she doesn't come by then we'll leave. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," A man's voice answered irritated "Ten minutes, that's it."

I walked down the dark alley deeply immersed in my thoughts. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Heartbroken or not, it's no excuse. Yet it's the only way for me to relieve the pain. It's the only way I can survive. I approached the three shadowy figures slowly and quietly. Mike was the first to see me.

"Bella! What took you so long?" Mike asked with a hint of annoyance. "We've been waiting over an hour."

Lauren and Jessica turned around to look at me.

"Shut up Mike," I hissed annoyed "My dad couldn't sleep so he was up late watching T.V. downstairs. Not all of us can climb out our bedroom window."

"Yeah well, try turning your cell phone on so we can at least know if you're coming or not!" Mike answered quite loudly "You know we can't wait here all night, we've got -"

"Yeah, yeah, would you both just shut up so we can go," Lauren said cutting Mike off. "Someone might hear us and we're just wasting time."

"Whose car are we taking?" I asked with an edge to my voice. Mike had succeeded in getting me into a bad mood for the rest of the night.

"Mine." Jessica answered quietly, careful not to piss me off again.

So we all climbed into Jessica's car which was parked just around the corner. We drove down the same road as usual, until we finally reached our destination. The giant abandoned house located just outside of Forks. Where almost every night there were party's that provided me with everything I needed to forget the pain.

I had no idea this place had even existed before Lauren had invited me to join them. She had seen how depressed I had gotten. She noticed that I didn't eat; I didn't care about what I wore, about how I looked. She noticed that I changed the way I talked to people; I was rude and didn't care because nothing mattered anymore. She noticed it all, and that's why we became best friends. So she decided to introduce me to a few of her favourite pass times.

I accepted her invitation, eager for the pain to disappear. So she took me with her. She brought me along one night and I couldn't believe it. It was absolutely amazing. The drugs filled the hole in my chest that he had caused, and made me forget about everything. It wasn't even a thousandth as satisfying as his presence was, but it was the best replacement. So I soon found myself coming back every night, and waking up with my clothes on backwards and hung-over in my room, not remembering anything from the previous night. Soon, I was bringing the stuff home, for when Charlie was working. I don't remember having a full nights sleep, yet it was the best I had felt in a long time. Lauren helped me heal and I will always be grateful for that.

Now, my life revolves around them: Alcohol and drugs. They cause me pain, yet relieve a different pain. A pain much, much stronger: the pain Edward Cullen caused me when he left.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight.

So yeah...major plot change in this chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

It's been 3 years since Edward left me, and things are better. Lauren and I are best friends, and I've started to finally heal.

We've been through a lot in the last three years but things are finally looking better for us. We still follow the same lifestyle as we did two and a half years ago: parties, guys, and drinking. With one major difference, the most amazing job ever. I didn't go to college because my grades had dropped substantially in grade 12 for obvious reasons, and Lauren also didn't go. Ironically Edward leaving got me my current job.

After our graduating summer had ended, everyone else was going off to college. Lauren and I, however, decided to move in together. At first things were not so easy. We decided to leave forks and we soon moved to New York where we got jobs and the local fast-food joint to pay off our expenses. We rented a cheap, small two-bedroom apartment temporarily until the day we could afford something better. Unfortunately, that day never came. We never showed up for work because we were always drunk, high or just too damn tired. So we got fired. We spent all our money on drugs and booze, hardly ate, and neglected our rent for three months. Our landlord gave us one month's eviction notice to pack our stuff up and leave. Things weren't looking too good for us, we were so close to living on the street. Then we met Jason.

It was late at night. We were walking home after a long night of partying, when a man called us from behind.

"Hey!" he called "Wait up!"

We turned around and saw a man in his late 20's. He had black hair and green eyes. He was fit, and quite attractive. I don't know if it was because I was completely wasted but I seemed to need him more right now than anything.

"Hey cutie," I said in my most attractive voice as he approached us. "Were just heading home right now, why don't you join us?"

"Sorry, I'm uh...busy," He replied awkwardly, he could tell we weren't exactly sober. Damn it. I could see the disappointment in Laurens face as well. "I was just going to tell you that I work for a modeling agency, and from what I can see, you two seem like the fresh new fall faces we've been looking for." Lauren and I looked at each other. Shock written all over our faces. He looked back and forth between the two of us, probably wondering if we were mentally unstable. "Well, if you're interested…" he pulled something out of his pocket and handed us each a card "here's my business card. Just give me a call. My name's Jason Wafle, by the way."

Lauren and I nodded and we each mumbled a quick "Ok" and "Sure". Still completely amazed that this stranger thinks we should be models.

"I hope to see you both soon." He said cheerfully and walked off.

Lauren and I looked at each other.

"Could this be real?" I asked her doubt covering my face "What if this is some sort of joke?"

"The card looks pretty legit to me she answered," she said while examining the business card he gave us. "This could be exactly what we've been looking for."

"We'll look in the phonebook for the location of..." I looked down at the card. "New York Modeling Agency. (A/n I just made that up...could be real though...) Then we'll call him and set up a meeting and if it's at the same place, we'll know this is for real."

So we both walked home together silently, still thinking about what had just happened.

As soon as we got home, Lauren collapsed on the sofa, and was instantly asleep. I however, made it to my bedroom. Without changing I got under the covers, closed my eyes and then everything went black.

The light from my window shone through the crack in the curtains. I woke up with the worst headache imaginable. I got out of bed and silently walked to the bathroom for a nice shower to wake me up completely. I was careful not to wake Lauren who was still passed out on the sofa. I got into our dingy bathroom, which had obviously not been renovated since the place was built around 60 years ago, undressed and stepped into the shower. The cool water woke me up and soothed my headache a bit. I was feeling extra tense this morning and decided to take extra long to relax. When I was done, I changed and walked out and saw Lauren, who had woken up and had been waiting for me to finish.

"Jeez, way to take like an hour in there. I've been holding it in since I got up." She said as she ran into the bathroom. I walked into the kitchen and took two Advil's out of the container. Shoot, these are the last two, I thought. I decided to only take one knowing that Lauren would need one as well after last night.

"Hey Lau, we're out of Advil!" I yelled knowing she could hear me from the bathroom.

"Are there any for today?" She asked desperately while walking into the kitchen "I've got a major headache."

"Yeah," I responded. "There's one for each of us."

"Good, we'll go buy some more today"

Then I remembered something.

"Am I just imagining this, or did some guy give us his business card last night?" I asked her.

"Holy crap! Yeah, I remember too now! Some guy who worked for some modeling agency." She said while walking off to get something. She came back holding her purse and rummaging through it. She took out the business card he had given us. "Here it is! New York Modeling Agency!" She said reading the card. "His name is Jason Wafle."

"I'm going to go look it up in the phonebook," I told her. After all, we know from personal experience not to trust some guy we met in the middle of the night. "We don't want a repeat of what happened last time." I finished warningly.

She shuddered. "I thought we said not to bring that up again."

"Just reminding you to not get too excited, for all we know he could do this every night" Yet somehow I doubted it. He seemed genuinely nice, and if he was bad wouldn't he have come yesterday when I invited him over? Still, you can never be sure.

I walked over to where we kept the phone book. I flipped through the pages until I found what I was looking for. So there was a New York Modeling Agency, and it looked pretty legitimate agency, but that didn't prove that this Jason character worked there. I wrote the address down and told Lauren to call the number on "Jason's" card.

"Hello, could I please speak to a Mr. Jason Wafle?" Lauren said into the phone. "Yes of course I'll wait." She replied politely.

After a rather short conversation, where she scribbled notes of when and where the meeting would be she hung up and handed me the paper. The addresses were the same.

I couldn't believe it. We had a meeting to get a good job, which hopefully had good pay. I couldn't believe it; we had a meeting to become models!


	4. Chapter 4

I sort of changed the direction of this fanfic a bit...but it's still the same...if that makes sense. What I mean is Bella's still going to be different when Edward finds her it's just I was initially going to make her like a complete wreck...but then I changed my mind. She'll be different, but in a different way.  
So did you guys think the whole modeling thing last chapter was believeable? I don't really know if stuff like that happens in real life. In this chapter they go to the modeling agency, and I dont really know what happens when you go to a meeting like that but I just sort of wrote what I think would happen. So sorry if it's all wrong, but there won't be much more stuff like that later in the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... :'(

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Chapter 4

Wearing our best outfits and carefully applied makeup, Lauren and I arrived 10 minutes early for our meeting with New York Modeling Agency. We walked in and were greeted by the receptionist.

"Hello. How may I help you?" She asked warmly. She seemed nice.

"We've got a meeting with Mr. Wafle." I replied "Uh, I'm Bella Swan, and this is Lauren Mallory."

She typed something into the computer. "Ah yes. You have a meeting for 3:30 I see." She said still looking at the computer. "Yes, Mr. Wafle will be with you shortly." She said in a polite voice looking up.

Lauren and I took our seats in two very comfortable looking chairs, in their very elegant and professionally designed waiting room.

After around 15 to 20 minutes the receptionist told us Mr. Wafle was ready to see us. We walked in timidly. He was sitting behind a very large, professional looking desk.

"Good afternoon ladies," he said with a smile. "I was really hoping you would call."

We introduced ourselves quietly while shaking his hand, and then sat down in the two chairs facing his desk. It was very intimidating sitting in this beautifully designed place with this successful man, while we were completely broke and almost living on the street. Though I don't think he knew that.

"Now, you both seem to have the physical appearance to be very successful models. Bella, however, it might be a little more difficult getting a job considering your height, but not impossible." He said turning to me. "Lauren, you're a little luckier than Bella here, you seem to have the height. We will of course train both of you to walk and pose properly.

"So, is this something you two would be interested in? It might start off slow, but I believe you two have the potential to become very successful."

I looked at Lauren, who nodded. She seemed just as excited as I was.

"Yes," Lauren responded confidently. "I know I am."

"Bella?" He asked turning to me.

"Yea." I said lamely while nodding. That's all I could get out of my mouth at this point. I just couldn't believe any of this.

"We're just going to have you two measured to see what size you are. And I think that's all we'll need today. We will call you back shortly so that you can take some pictures for your portfolios."

He pushed a button on his phone and asked for someone named Sam to come into the room.

"Now, you'll just have to fill out these forms for me." He said handing us each many papers that had been neatly stapled together. He handed us both pens. I filled it out quickly, and signed in several places. I handed it back to him just after Lauren had finished.

"Hello Sam. This is Bella and Lauren. They're new models here," Jason said to a woman I hadn't noticed had walked into the room. I turned around. She was beautiful, not as much as Rosalie, but pretty darn good for a human. She was very tall and had long blonde hair. "Ladies, this is Sam, she's also a model here, she'll just be measuring you two." Jason said introducing us to the woman.

"If you could just follow me please. We'll go somewhere a little more private." She said to us both.

We said our thanks and goodbyes to Mr. Wafle and exited his office.

We walked into a brightly lit room with Sam. She measured around our waist, our bust size, arms length, leg length, around our hips and finally our shoe size. I was extremely skinny. Skinnier than Lauren, much to her dislike. I hadn't really been eating when Edward left, but I guess it's a good thing because it got me this job.

After, we tried on different outfits, most of which were too long for me. We also tried on various high heeled shoes and tried walking around in them. Lauren had no problem; I however was as ungraceful as ever, and fell several times. After a while I got used to it and didn't fall quite as often, but still needed a lot of practice. She showed us how to walk, and different basic poses. When we were done she told me to take the shoes home so that I could practice wearing them. I accepted, thankful that I didn't have to go shoe shopping.

Lauren and I headed home, wearing our heels, as happy as ever. And for the first time ever I didn't feel like doing anything that would artificially make me happy. I didn't need anything to help me forget the pain. I was just happy. And this was how it was going to stay, I convinced myself.

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So that's it. It's short, I know, but I'll try and make the next ones longer.


	5. Chapter 5

Here's another chapter! The Cullens are here! woo hoo!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 5

So that's it. That's how I got to where I am now. Things are great for both me and Lauren right now, and I'm hoping things stay great. We've done many photo shoots and fashion shows since we first started modeling and we're both making quite a bit of money. We're now living in a house we rent together. It's a new house and nicely furnished. Lauren has a boyfriend, Dave; I however am still not ready for a committed relationship so I'll go out with the occasional fling. The newest on being Danni, which surprisingly lasted longer than most guys. I still party every night but I'm proud to say I'm no longer addicted to drugs. I'll do them occasionally with friends from the agency or when I feel stressed, but I feel no need to do them everyday. The hole in my chest is slowly healing.

Tonight, Lau and I are going out with Dave and Danni. We're going out to a new nightclub that just opened.

I was in the washroom applying my makeup when Lau came in.

"Should I wear this?" She held up a short pink dress. "Or this?" She replaced the pink dress with a slightly longer black sequin dress.

Lau was more of an ostentatious dresser than I was. My outfit was more plain but still looked amazing. I was wearing a tight pair of blue skinny jeans and a tight white shirt.

"I'd go with the black one if I were you Lau." I responded.

"Alright." She put the black dress on. "Red pumps?" She asked.

"I was going to wear those tonight!" I answered. Lau and I had the same shoe size so we're always wearing each others, which can sometimes be good, but in some cases it can really suck. Like right now. "Ugh, fine. I'll wear the green ones." Green was feeling like my favourite colour today. I guess I was missing Forks.

I wasn't just missing Forks, I was missing my dad. But I tried not to think about that and the unceremonious way I left home.

I remembered Charlie had caught me sneaking in a 4am.

"Where have you been?!" he yelled when I walked in the front door. He had been waiting for me. "I go downstairs for a snack and decide to check your room on the way to my room, and what do I find? You're gone! And now you come back at 4 in the morning, obviously intoxicated! Bella, what's happened to you?!"

I had zoned out half way through his little speech and suddenly found the TV's antenna really interesting. I then realized he had stopped talking and had asked me something.

"What?" I asked him faintly. Still staring at the antenna with astonishment.

"Bella! Are you listening?! Can you even hear me?!" He yelled "What the hell are you looking at?!" He suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled my attention away from the antenna.

"What?!" I snapped suddenly. "Don't touch me!" I yelled

"Bella, you have to stop this right now! How long has this been going on?!" He asked, obviously about to lose it.

"I'm not stopping anything! Why the hell do you care about what I do! I'm legally an adult! I can do whatever I want!" I yelled back angrily.

"I care because I'm a cop and you're breaking the law!" He retorted.

"Fine! I'll leave then! It's not breaking the law to leave! And you're not going to arrest your own daughter are you?!" He stood there completely frozen. Would he arrest his own daughter? I didn't care. I had been planning to leave with Lauren anyway. I ran upstairs, took the money out from under my mattress, stuffed a duffel bag with as much clothes as I could fit and left. I hadn't spoken to Charlie since, and it hurt to think about that painful memory.

I was thinking of visiting, but the hole in my chest has finally started healing and I don't think I could bare it. Forks would remind me of Edward too much. However I don't think that a phone call, letter or an e-mail would suffice for this conversation I desperately needed to have with Charlie. So, I did nothing, and it hurt me knowing Charlie had been left twice by the people he loved, it hurt me knowing Charlie was hurt. But I couldn't do anything, at least not now.

"Bella! You ready?!" Lau brought me out of my thoughts.

I suddenly remembered I had to get ready and that I was wasting time. I quickly walked back into my room, slipped on my green pumps, grabbed my bag and went downstairs. Dave and Danni had already arrived and we're waiting for me with Lau.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm ready." I said while going down the stairs, I stumbled on the last step but didn't fall.

I gave Danni a quick kiss when I saw him.

"Hey," I said to him. I turned to Lau. "Is anyone else coming tonight?"

"Uh, yeah. Britt and some guy, Alex, and…" she thought for a moment "Ricky, I think." All models from the agency.

"Great, Britt's coming." I said sarcastically "I'm overjoyed."

"Aw, she's not that bad Bella." Lau said.

"Uh, that's a major understatement." I replied. "She's uncontrollable"

"Meh, we were like that once." Lau said

"Whatever." I had had this conversation with Lau too many times. But I do see her point, we used to be like Britt too.

We all got in Lau's new car. I still don't know a thing about cars, all I know is that hers is a nice one. Danni and I sat in the back, and Lau and Dave sat in the front. We drove for around 10 minutes until we reached the night club. There were lights outside the front flashing around and loud music blasting from the speakers. We parked the car a couple of blocks away and walked. When we entered, it was crazy. Loud music, people dancing and lights flashing everywhere. It took us quite a while but eventually we found Britt, Alex, Ricky, and some other guy. Then we found a table and all sat down. After we ate and had a few drinks I excused myself to use the bathroom. I had eaten too much tonight and I usually didn't allow that. I couldn't lose my job. I walked into a stall and kneeled down in front of the toilet bowl. Thankfully these restroom cubicles had low doors, so my feet were barely visible. I reached up with my hand when suddenly the bathroom door opened.

"I'm telling you Rose. You should have gotten the other pair. They would match your outfit so much better right now." A velvety voice said. My heart rate accelerated. I knew that voice and saying the name just confirmed my suspicions. Alice and Rosalie were in this bathroom. I froze.

I could faintly hear her say "Did you hear that?" Obviously talking about my vigorously beating heart. She stopped for a moment "Do you smell that!?" She said a lot louder. "Bella?! Are you in here?!"

Oh God! This couldn't be happening! My heart was going a mile a minute and I knew they could both hear it. The hole in my chest ripped open and seared with pain.

I fell back so that I was sitting on my butt and the moisture built up in my eyes. I couldn't hold it in any longer and the tears began to leak. My hands moved up to either side of my head as I sobbed uncontrollably.

"Bella? Please open the door." Alice said in a much calmer voice. "Please."

"I can't-" I managed to get out between sobs "Leave." I told them. This truly was unbearable.

"Please Bella. We're sorry. We didn't realize what this would do to you. We wanted you to live a normal human life." Alice said

Just then the bathroom door opened and somebody walked in. "Bella?" She said. Shoot, it was Britt. The last person I wanted to see right now. "Bella, what's going on in here?" She must have heard me sobbing and noticed Alice and Rosalie outside my stall.

"Bella? Danni's been looking for you. You've been gone for a while. Why are you crying?"

"Britt, just go away!" I said with tears still running down my face. "You too, Alice! Just leave!"

"Bella, I'm going to get Danni. You need to go home." I was surprised she could put that sentence together, she was obviously drunk.

"No! Stop!" But it was too late she had already left.

I couldn't stand this. I opened my purse and looked through it desperately. I found what I was looking for and lit it. As soon as it touched my lips I instantly felt my body relax.

"Bella?! What the hell are you doing in there? You better not be doing what I think you're doing!" Alice yelled. Rose was unusually quiet, and then I remembered she didn't like me. This must be really awkward for her.

I started chuckling. My chuckles soon turned to hysterical fits of laughter. What the hell are the chances? The same night club! In the same bathroom! I found the situation utterly hilarious.

Then I could hear the door open again "Bella? There better be a good reason as to why I'm in the girl's bathroom. Britt said you were crying." I heard Danni's voice as he entered the washroom. "What the hell did you do to her?!" Obviously talking to Alice and Rose. He must have heard me laughing.

"We didn't do anything!" Rosalie retorted.

"Ha! Didn't do anything! Yeah right." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Bella, what the hell are you talking about? Please come out so we can talk about this." Danni said, his voice filled with nothing but concern. I instantly felt horrible for leading him on like this. I didn't want anything serious and I knew he did.

"Danni, please, just go. I'm sorry I led you on but I'm really not looking for a serious relationship and I realize now that you do. You came into the girl's bathroom for me for crying out loud! What we had was great and a lot of fun, but that's all it ever was for me. I'm sorry." I had to end it now before this situation got any worse. Surprisingly, the fact that I was high helped me get through that speech.

He didn't respond.

"Danni?" I asked. Did he leave? I didn't hear any footsteps.

"He's gone" Alice replied calmly. "Bella, please open the door. We'll just rip it off."

I knew it was true, but I still couldn't move.

"Please Bella. I really don't want to have to do this." She warned.

"Who's with you?" I asked her quietly, knowing she could hear me.

"Don't worry, he's not here. It's just me, Rose, Emmett and Jasper." She replied knowing exactly who I was asking about in my question.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"He hasn't been living with us lately," Alice said calmly. "Last vision I had of him, he was in Spain."

I slowly reached up with my hand and unlocked the door. There was a 'click' that echoed through the silent bathroom. They pushed the door, which opened with a creak.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice said while pulling me off my feet and into a bone crushing hug. "What happened to you?" She said letting go of me. She was looking at my gaunt body, probably noticing the way my bones stuck out in certain places. Then her eyes moved to my hand, which was still holding a lit joint.

I couldn't say anything. My throat felt like it was burning.

"Bella please come with us. Edward is a mess without you. He needs you just as much as you need him. You two are meant for each other and once he sees what leaving you did, he'll stop being so stupid and realize you're safer with us around."

"And what exactly did leaving me do?" I asked with an edge to my voice. What was she implying with that comment? I'm a successful woman, no thanks to any of them.

"You're different Bella," She said. "The old Bella would never do any of this."

"Any of what?" I said angrily.

"Bella, you're doing drugs, I've seen three visions of you making yourself throw up since I found out you were in here, and your sleeping with some guy you don't even like! What happened to you?!" She finished her voice rising.

"He left me! That's what happened! Did you expect me to be the same? What exactly did you expect me to be now? Just continue my life "As if he never existed"?" I changed my voice as I quoted him. "Easier said than done Alice! I'd say I've done pretty well for myself all things considered!"

Her anger visibly disappeared.

"You're right Bella, I'm sorry." She said apologetically. "I shouldn't have gotten angry. It's not your fault."

"That's okay. I guess it's a lot to take in." I said quietly. She knew she was forgiven. Holding grudges was never my forte. Then I looked at Rose for the first time tonight. She was leaning against the bathroom wall with her arms crossed. I had forgotten just how beautiful she was. She suddenly walked forwards and stood in front of me.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I was jealous of you before, but now I know I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" She said sincerely.

"Of course, Rosalie." I said. "Of course I forgive you."

"Thanks" She said pulling me into a small, yet meaningful hug.

"Come on Bella! We gotta go see Emmett and Jasper!" Alice said enthusiastically.

"Great." I groaned. This was going to be a long night.

Alright, so here's a longer chapter! The Cullens are back! Yay! I think Eddie comes into the picture in the next chapter, but maybe not...


	6. Chapter 6

OK so heres another chapter. So I've finally figured out where I'm going with this story. It's going to focus a lot more on Bella's eating disorder. To be honest, I dont really know much about eating disorders like the side effects, treatment and all that, but I did do some research so hopefully I dont get anything wrong. I know this story is kind of all over the place and I've changed the plot a lot but it's my first story and I didn't really think it through...I just sort of started writing. My next story will be much more oranized though. I promise. I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed, it's really encouraging.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

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Chapter 6

"Please Alice, I have to go home, my roommate will be wondering where I am." I said desperately. I really didn't want to see Jasper and Emmett right now.

"Stop lying Bella. You know as well as I do that Lauren wouldn't worry if you disappeared for days, apparently it's not that uncommon with you two." She said the last part quietly, it sounded as if she was talking more to herself than me. "Now stop complaining and move. You're so slow."

"Now who's complaining?" I said. "And besides, us humans like to take our time when we walk."

She couldn't exactly pick me up with all the people around us so she had to settle with going at my speed. The thought cheered me up. Until I realized we had finally reached Emmett and Jasper.

When they caught sight of me neither of them said anything. They were probably trying to figure out if it was really me, but I'm sure my smell confirmed it.

"Alice, Rose, is this who I think it is?" Emmett asked. Alice smiled and nodded slowly. This was all so intense. Then, so quickly I didn't even realize he had moved, I found myself being crushed by a hug, struggling to breath.

"Need - Air - " I managed to get out.

"Bella! I can't believe it's you! You've changed so much! My favourite little human!" Emmett said, a huge grin spreading across his face.

"Yeah, well." Was all I could say. It hurt seeing Emmett and Jasper too.

"What are you doing here?" Emmett asked.

"Uh, I guess the same as everyone else in this place," I gestured to all the other people surrounding us. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked, actually very curious as to why four vampires who couldn't eat or drink we're in a club. They never struck me as the type who likes to go clubbing.

"Oh, you know, just trying something new." Emmett responded casually.

I then noticed Jasper for the first time. I smiled at him and he smiled back. It surprised me when he walked up to me and pulled my into a small hug. "I'm so sorry for what happened on your birthday, but I can control myself now." He said

"I never blamed you for what happened Jasper. There's nothing to apologize for." I replied sincerely. I'm sure he could feel it, with his power.

"Thanks Bella and I'm really glad you're back." He confessed. "Our family isn't complete without you."

"Thanks Jasper." I replied. "That really means a lot to me"

"So, I think Bella here should stay over at our house tonight." She said to the rest of the Cullens.

"Yeah Bella! You have to stay!" Emmett said enthusiastically.

"No really you guys, I have to go home." I said desperately. I couldn't stay at the Cullens. I couldn't get emotionally attached to them anymore than I already am. It would hurt too much when they leave again.

"You know Bella, Esme thinks of you as her daughter. She's going to be really hurt when she finds out we saw you tonight and you didn't want to come see her." Alice said trying to guilt me into coming. Damn it, it was working. She knew my weakness.

"Fine," I said. "I'll come, but only tonight. And Edward can't know I'm here." I finished warningly.

"Why?" Rosalie asked, speaking up for the first time since we joined up with Emmett and Jasper.

"Because, I can't bear it if I see him and he leaves again," I explained quietly. "I only just started to heal, and seeing him would just make things harder when you leave."

"We're not going anywhere," Alice said confidently. "Screw Edward! We're not leaving again no matter what he says! Not after seeing what it's done to you!"

Again with the "What it's done to me". What exactly has it done to me? Was I really that different? Was my life really that bad?

"Come on Bella." Alice said pulling my arm. "You have nothing to worry about, we're not leaving this time."

We started walking to her car.

"Just please promise me, all of you, that you won't tell Edward I'm here. Not until I'm ready."

They all agreed.

We finally reached their car. It was Rosalie's red convertible.

"Where exactly to you guys live?" I asked curiously.

"About an hour away. Which is perfect. It gives us time to talk." Alice answered. Great. I had a feeling I knew what she wanted to talk about.

Soon we were speeding down the highway. Rosalie liked driving faster than Edward did. We were going at 160km/h.

"So," Alice started casually. "What have you been up to since we left?" I could hear a hint of suspicion in her voice.

"Nothing really," I didn't really feel ready to tell them. I'm sure Jasper could feel my discomfort, because when Alice started to press the issue, he stopped her.

"Just drop it Alice." He said quietly.

The rest of the car ride was fairly quiet except for the occasional question. Most of which I didn't really answer. Like when they asked me where I live I responded saying "A house". And when they asked me who I lived with I said "A friend". I was sure they noticed my reluctance to answer their questions but I didn't care. At around 3 in the morning, we finally reached the Cullen house.

It was just as big as the last one and was the same style. I was reluctant to get out of the car. Everyone else got out and I just sat there frozen.

"Bella, please don't make me drag you in." Alice threatened. "Just come on, don't worry."

The truth was I was scared. I was scared that they wouldn't like me. That they would see how much I've changed and they won't want me anymore. Jasper must have sensed what I was feeling because he started walking towards the car until he was standing in front of me.

"Bella, you have nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine." He reassured me.

I walked out of the car hesitantly and walked up the stairs to their beautiful home.

Emmett opened the door. "We're home! And look who we brought!" He yelled unnecessarily.

Esme and Carlisle appeared in front of us in just seconds. Esme gasped when she saw me.

"Oh my goodness, Bella!" She said pulling me into a tight hug.

I then realized what a mess I probably looked like. My hair was all messed up and my heavy makeup had smeared from when I was crying in the washroom, and I was sure they could smell the pot, cigarettes and alcohol. My bony figure didn't help the situation either.

I let go of Esme and hugged Carlisle. "Hello Bella." He said warmly.

"Hi Carlisle." I responded.

"She's staying the night." Alice informed them cheerfully. "Come on Bella we have so much to catch up on!" She added enthusiastically leading me into another room.

"Actually Alice, I'm feeling kind of tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep if you don't mind. We can do all that tomorrow." I told her. The excitement visibly disappeared from her face.

"Oh ok," She said sadly. "Tomorrow then."

She led me into the guest room, gave me an extra pair of pyjamas and gave me a new toothbrush and some toothpaste they kept as props.

"Alright Bella goodnight, we'll talk tomorrow." She said and left the room.

I quickly changed into the pyjamas, went into the bathroom brushed my teeth and then hurriedly jumped under the covers of the very comfortable bed. How could things have changed this much in such a short amount of time? I thought. I was glad I was finally with my family but I was also sad because the pain will be unbearable when they leave again. These were my last thoughts as I slipped into darkness.

I woke up later than usual. Probably because of all the stress from last night. I got out of bed, had a shower, changed and went downstairs. The rest of the Cullens were sitting on stools in the kitchen around the island, and as soon as I walked into the kitchen, I gasped. Esme had prepared enough food to feed at least 10 people. There were pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, toast and a lot more. I couldn't eat today. I had already eaten yesterday. This was too much food, but how could I not eat without hurting Esme's feelings?

"Uh, Esme?" I said politely. "I really appreciate you making all this food for me but I'm really not hungry."

"Nonsense," She said in a motherly tone. "What kind of mother would I be if I didn't feed my children?" I could see she wasn't going to drop it. I picked up half a piece of toast and nibbled on it when my phone rung in my pocket. The caller Id said it was Lauren. I excused myself and walked into the other room, even though I knew they could hear me and Lauren perfectly anyway.

"Hey Lau." I said.

"Hey where are you? I saw Danni leaving last night, he looked pissed." She said

"Yeah," Was all I could say. I didn't want to say too much knowing the Cullens were listening.

"Did he find you with someone? Is that why you took so long in the bathroom?" She asked casually, as if this was an everyday occurrence.

My face instantly turned red knowing that all the Cullens could hear the other room.

"Look, I'll call you back later." I whispered quickly even though I knew it was no use. I was eager to end this conversation before she said anything really embarrassing.

"Oh, I see, you're _busy_," She said suggestively. "Call me later then."

"No, it's not like that." I clarified, my face burning. Stupid vampires.

"Then what is it?" She asked worried. "Are you Ok?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll call you later. Bye."

"Ok, then." She responded unsurely. "Talk to you later."

I hung up, and sighed. I walked back into the kitchen where all eyes were on me. I sat down on the stool and looked up at the faces of my former family, they all had worried expressions. Nobody said anything for what seemed to me like 10 minutes.

Alice was the first to speak. "Bella, I need to speak with you alone please, if you don't mind."

"Okay" I stood up and followed her hesitantly. She led me outside to her very expensive looking car. She got in the driver's side and I entered the passenger's side.

"Where are we going?" I asked her when she started the car.

"Somewhere a little more private." She responded.

We drove for about ten minutes when she pulled into a Dairy Queen parking lot and turned off the car.

"Bella, am I your best friend?" She asked sadly turning to face me.

"Of course you are. I love you more than any of my new friends and I always will." I responded truthfully.

"You can tell me anything." She assured me "You know that right?"

"Of course," I told her. "Of course I know that."

"Bella," She was still speaking in a sad voice. "Why don't you eat anything?"

Oh. That's what she was getting at. "Please, Alice don't make this any more difficult than it is."

"I care about you Bella. And I'm seeing visions of you in the hospital because you haven't been eating enough. People die because of anorexia. I'm not losing you again." She said.

"I don't think I can stop," I said in a small voice. I looked at my hands as I spoke, I couldn't look at her. "I'll lose my job."

"Please, let us help you Bella." She begged. "Carlisle has dealt with situations like this before. Please, move in with us, we'll help you get better."

"I can't move in with you. He'll find out. I don't want him to see me like this." I said truthfully.

"Bella, you two were meant for each other. He's coming back today. I had a vision this morning while you were sleeping."

He was- He was coming? Today? I started to panic. I couldn't breath and I was gasping for air.

"Can't- Breath- " I managed to get out between gasps. Tears were running down my face.

"Bella?! Bella?! Calm down! I'm taking you to Carlisle."

The last thing I remember was her speeding out of the parking lot before everything went black.

"Is she awake?" I heard a motherly voice say.

"She'll open her eyes in around 10 seconds." A familiar voice replied. Alice, I realized suddenly.

My eyes began to flutter open. I was on a very comfortable bed with all the Cullens surrounding me.

"What happened?" I asked groggily, sitting up in the bed.

"You had a panic attack Bella, then you fainted." Carlisle replied.

"How long have I been out?"

"Not long," Esme said, she was holding a tray with food on it. "Here Bella, you need to eat."

"No thank you, I'm not hungry." I replied. I suddenly remembered something. _He_ was coming today. "Oh my god he's coming. I have to leave." I said starting to panic again. I tried to get out of the bed but Carlisle stopped me.

"Oh no Bella, you need to rest. Could everyone please give us some privacy?" He asked the rest of the Cullens. They all walked out of the room except for Alice who already knew what it was about. It was unnecessary; the rest of them could hear every word anyways.

"Bella, when was the last time you ate?" Carlisle asked me.

"Uh, yesterday," I told him. It wasn't a lie, but he didn't know how _much_ I had eaten yesterday.

"And how much did you eat yesterday?" Alice intervened. Damn her.

I didn't respond. "Enough." I finally said.

He looked at me suspiciously. "Please Bella, don't lie to me. I can see you haven't been eating. You have to stop this it's unhealthy."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said.

"Please Bella, we all care about you." Alice said sincerely. "Carlisle, I already told her she could move in with us."

"I think that's a wonderful idea Alice." Carlisle said. "Bella we can help you get over this."

"No." I said firmly. "I don't want to get fat, I'm already too fat! I'll lose my job!" I said a little louder, I could feel the moisture building up in my eyes. "Please I have to go home, I can't stay here." I tried to get up, but Alice held me down.

"Let me go!" I yelled loudly. "Let me go, I have to go!" I thrashed around in the bed trying to get up but she held me down firmly.

"Bella, you can't leave this is dangerous for your health." Carlisle said calmly. "Bella, I'm supposed to go to the haspital for work soon. If you like, I could bring you there to be treated, or would you prefer it here?"

"I dont need treatment! I'm fine! Let me go or I'll call the cops!" I threatened. I couldn't stay here any longer, especially if Edward came. "Please!" I cried. "Please let me go!" The tears streamed down my face. I took out my cell phone but it was snatched away by Alice.

"Give me my phone Alice, and let me go!" I said loudly. "I don't want your help! Any of you, you stupid vampires! Why did you have to come back? I was happier without any of you in my life!" I screamed louder, still struggling uselessly against Alice's strong arms. "LET GO OF ME!" I finally screamed so loudly that she looked at me and let go slowly. Carlisle was frozen with shock. I scrambled out of the bed and stood in front of Alice. "Alice, give me my phone right now!" I demanded in a commanding voice. She looked at me sadly and handed it to me. I took it, ran downstairs with tears continuously running down my face. Through the kitchen where all the other Cullens were seated, silently staring at me as I ran past them and into the foyer where I hurriedly slipped on my shoes grabbed my purse and ran out of the house.

It was only then that I realized I didn't have a ride. I pulled out my phone to call Lau when I realized that it was dead. I would have to hitchhike. I needed a cigarette, this was too stressful. I took it out of my bag lit it, and instantly relaxed. I walked down their driveway and onto the road. I started walking down the road holding my thumb out hoping somebody sane would pick me up. I saw a car pull beside me and I opened the door. It was Jasper.

"I figured you would need a ride." He said. "Please get in Bella. I won't try and make you come back. I'm just giving you a ride home."

I stared at him for a moment and then got in the car.

"Would you please put out the cigarette Bella?" He asked politely. "It's a horrible habbit and the smell is ten times stronger for me." I lowered the window and threw it out.

He asked where I lived and I told him the address. For the rest of the ride neither of us said anything. Suddenly he spoke.

"You're sad." It wasn't a question. I continued to stare forward. "Not just now, but since the moment I first saw you, you were sad." He continued. "As much as you pretend you like your new life, you're unhappy.

"And," He went on. "You still love him with all your heart. I can feel it whenever you think about him, which is a lot." He added the last part and chuckled. "Please Bella, why are you making this harder on yourself?"

I didn't answer.

"You're also extremely depressed right now," He continued. "And I'm worried. I know seeing us must have brought back horrible memories because I can honestly feel such strong sad emotions right now that I'm having trouble driving." He said. We were stopped in front of my house. "Bella, depressed people do stupid things. Please, promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"Please, just tell the rest of the Cullens to leave me alone and not to contact me." I said as I got out of his car. I got up to quickly though and I immediately felt dizzy, I was about to fall when I stopped and steadied myself. I walked up to my house and turned around, he was watching me. As soon as I walked inside I shut the door behind me, and then turned around to look through the peep hole. I sighed, he was gone.

"So," I jumped, startled, when I heard Lau behind me. "Where have you been?"

I hesitated. "You remember the Cullens?" I finally asked her.

"Oh. My. God. You spent the night with Edward?!" She asked completely shocked.

"No! No, no, no! I ran into Alice and Rosalie at the club and I went home with them, but Edward wasn't there. He's in Spain." I explained trying not to cry again.

"Oh." Was all she could say. "Are you Okay?"

"I'm going to sleep." I told her. My body felt so weak, like I was going to collapse any second.

"Alight. I'm going to go grocery shopping. I'll be back soon." Lau said.

"Kay." I responded walking to my room. I looked at the clock it was only 3:30pm, but I was so tired.

I didn't even bother changing; I just jumped into my bed fully dressed, but not before grabbing the pill container off my nightstand and swallowing an uncounted amount. It's been a long two days I thought, before drifting off into darkness.

* * *

So I read that anorexia makes you have mood swings so that would be why Bella's a little moody. Just thought I'd clear that up for anyone who was wondering. I also read that fainting, depression, and poor self esteem are side effects so I tried to incorporate those into the story as much as possible. I know I said Edward would probably be in this chapter but I was wrong...He will be in the next one though.


	7. Chapter 7

So, here's another chapter. Sorry it took so long. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7

I woke up to the sound of loud beeping in a bright room. I groggily sat up.

"Bella! You're awake!" Lau exclaimed as she stood up from the chair next to my bed.

"What happened?" I asked. "Why the hell am I in here?"

"Well, you sort of overdosed." She answered. "I came in your room after I got back to borrow your pink shoes and I saw the empty pill bottle in your hands. I kind of freaked and called 911."

"How did you know I overdosed though?" I asked curiously. Lauren wasn't that smart, how come she didn't just assume I was sleeping.

"Well, I told them I thought you had overdosed because of the pill bottle and they said to check a whole bunch of stuff. Like your pulse and all that." She said. "And then they came rushing over here with an ambulance. Oh Bella I was so scared."

"It's ok, I'm ok now." I said trying to calm her down before she started to cry.

She composed herself quickly and then looked at me hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure she should tell me something. "Bella, there's something you should know."

"What's that?" I asked her, a little worried at her severe tone.

Just then the door opened.

"That." Lau replied. I turned my head and looked at none other than Dr. Carlisle Cullen. That's just what I get with my luck.

"No! No, no, no! This cannot be happening, I need a different doctor. Nurse! Nurse! Someone! Please!" I yelled desperately hoping someone heard me. He couldn't be my doctor, Edward would find out. As I was screaming Carlisle had moved so that he was standing next to my bed.

"Bella, please," He pleaded.

I cut him off. "Nurse! Someone! Help!" I yelled frantically, louder than before.

Just then a young woman walked in. "Is there a problem here?" She asked.

"I need a different doctor." I said desperately. Tears were streaming down my face. "Please, you have to get me a different doctor."

"Why would you need another doctor?" She asked looking between me and Carlisle.

I didn't want to get Carlisle in trouble; he only wanted to help after all. I hesitated not sure what reason I should use that wouldn't make Carlisle look bad. "Um, well you see...The thing is.." I stuttered. "Umm... I need a girl doctor." Perfect. "There was an incident...a while back and, yeah, I don't feel very comfortable...you know..." I trailed off, the tears subsiding a little.

"Oh. Of course, of course I understand." She said. "Dr. Cullen, I think it's best if we let Dr. Monroe take this one."

"I will call Alice if you don't let me talk to you later." He threatened before turning around to leave. Shoot.

"You know what..." I called before they left the room. "I think it was just shock, I can deal with it now." She wasn't stupid, and she knew this had nothing to do with any "past incident". This was something personal and she knew it.

"Alright, just call if you need anything." She said suspiciously, still looking between me and Carlisle. He walked back towards my bed. He was about to say something, until he noticed Lau in the room.

"Lau, would you mind stepping outside for awhile?" I asked quietly.

She looked at me apologetically as she got up and walked out of the room. I knew she understood just how hard this was for me.

"Bella," He started severely.

I cut him off again. "Why didn't Alice see any of this?"

"She wasn't looking at your future, and she's still not. Edward is home and I believe you made them promise not to tell him they saw you. If she has a vision, he would see it, so she's not looking. Nobody but me knows you're here."

I sighed, relieved. "And it's going to stay that way."

"Why are you doing this to yourself Bella? We're not leaving again, Edward needs you. Why won't you come live with us so we can help you and you can get over all this?" He asked sincerely.

I moved my tongue to fidget with my tongue piercing. A habit I had developed when I was nervous, but I realised it wasn't there.

"Where's my tongue ring?" I asked, changing the subject again.

"We had to take it out for medical reasons." He replied.

"Can I have it back?" I asked. He nodded and went to get it. He returned less than a minute later with the small ring in his hand. I put it in carefully.

"Now, Bella, would you please stop changing the subject?" He pleaded.

I looked down at my hands and hesitated. "I don't want him to see me like this." I finally said in a small voice.

"But it's the best way to get past all this. He still loves you and will do anything to help you."

"No, that's a lie. He won't want me because I'm different. I'm old and broken. I didn't even deserve him before so I definitely don't deserve him now."

"Bella," He looked me straight in the eyes. "I can promise you, he will still love you. He won't care what happened to you these last few years, he will only want to help you, and stay with you forever."

"Forever, forever?" I asked quietly, not sure if her was saying what I thought he was saying.

"Forever, forever." He assured me warmly. I looked into his eyes and could see nothing but concern and sincerity.

"Alright fine, you win. I'll come stay with you."

"Excellent," he said pleased that I was finally cooperating. "I'll bring you back with me at the end of the day when I'm finished work."

He walked out of the room, and I sighed. I was going to live with the Cullens. I was going to see Edward and he was going to see me like this. This couldn't be happening. I could feel the moisture building up in my eyes as I reached for my purse that was on the chair next to me. My hands trembled as I rummaged through it for the box of cigarettes and the lighter. I knew Carlisle wouldn't be too happy about this and he would probably be smelling it soon. After about 30 seconds, it was snatched out of my hand so quickly I didn't even notice, and he was standing next to me.

"Bella, this has to stop." He said severely. "Give me the pack, and the lighter."

I reached into my bag and gave them to him reluctantly.

"I'm sorry but this is for your own good. You have to stop this unhealthy habit. After you eat, I'll give you some drugs so you can sleep for the rest of the day. You need to relax."

"No, that's okay I'm not hungry." I lied. I was always hungry these days

"You have to eat Bella. You won't get better unless you eat." Carlisle said seriously.

"Alright fine, but not a lot." I finally agreed. I would deal with it later. After I ate, I was given a needle, and the last thing I remembered was falling into darkness.

* * *

I woke up later that day. It was dark. Carlisle was waiting for me to wake up in the chair next to my bed.

"Are you ready to leave?" He asked once I was fully awake. "I'm done working."

"No." I whined.

"Bella, you would have to do this sooner or later. Come on, he will be happy to see you. Everyone will be." He reassured me.

"Where's Lauren?" I asked him.

"She left because you were asleep. She said to call her when you wake up." He replied.

I got out of the bed and Carlisle gave me some privacy to change. I took my time changing, wasting as much time as possible. There was no point though; I would have to go eventually. I also used the "bathroom", I had eaten too much today. After thoroughly brushing my teeth, and failing to fix my unmanageable hair, I walked outside the room. Carlisle was waiting outside the door for me when I finished, looking at me suspiciously. Neither of us said anything. The car ride lasted a while, and when we finally got there, I couldn't seem to get out of the car.

"Please, please, just take me home. This was a bad idea, I can't do this." I begged Carlisle. I tried to hold it in but I couldn't, the tears streamed freely down my face.

"Bella, he already knows you're here. He can hear it in my thoughts, there's no going back now." He said. "Don't worry; you have nothing to worry about."

I nodded and got out of the car, the tears continuously falling. Carlisle wrapped his arm around me as we walked up to the house. They were all waiting for us when we entered. I looked at each of them before my eyes finally landed on Edward. He was as gorgeous as ever and I was a mess as always. I looked into his beautiful topaz eyes before everything went black.

* * *

So there you go. Edwards reaction will be in the next chapter. Review please!


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